** Be sure to check out the free New Years Resolution Printable at the bottom!**
It was New Year’s Eve and I was laying in bed contemplating over the last year. I had become a first-time mom and I was struggling with the feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. I tried so hard to invite people over time and time again. I’m pretty sure we took cookie plates to 30 or more families every year at Christmas. We went to everything we were invited to, I complimented, I served, I offered, and I went out of my way… but finally I just shut down and started to give up. Being a mom was just lonely no matter how hard I tried. That’s when the idea came to me… I’d given so much of myself to everyone else that I wasn’t saving anything for myself.
I spent so much time trying to make everyone else happy that I lost sight of what makes me happy. I thought very little of my own importance. Most people think of me as a happy, bubbly person and for the most part that’s who I am. But like most people, I try to put my best foot forward. I try to hide the side of me that always feels insecure, who feels like the inferior person in every conversation or social setting, who feels like I’m just failing at times… this person I did not like very much and I was determined that it needed to change!
So laying in bed, I rolled over to my phone, opened the notepad screen and started writing down the relationships I needed to improve. This time, my focus was different, it was the relationship with myself I was focusing on. I wrote a goal for each month of the new year. Here are a few of the first goals I made:
JANUARY– Relationship with God, the Heavenly Father who created and loves me. I decided to spend January studying more scriptures, spending more time praying and pondering.. Just trying to improve my personal relationship with the God who wants to be in our life more than anything.
FEBRUARY– Relationship with food. I was going to try to eat healthier to feel better. I know it’s important to take care of our bodies and I tend to be a sugar-a-holic so my goal was to just eat more things that are healthy. This was in no way a diet or a weight loss program, just a way to show my body I wanted to take care of it.
MARCH– Relationship with my body. Just as eating healthy is important, so is taking care of your skin. This month I focused on pampering myself a little more. I got myself a Spin Spa to exfoliate my skin better, took some nice long bubble baths, tried to wash my make-up off every night (something I rarely do), and take better care of my teeth by spending more time flossing, brushing and caring for them in general. This was one of my favorite months because it feels good to pamper yourself and take care of your appearance. As a busy mom this one is often forgotten!
APRIL– Relationship with my husband. You might argue that your husband is another person so this is not a goal that focuses on caring for yourself. That’s true, but I truly believe that in marriage a husband and wife really become more like one functioning person rather than two separate people, so this was an important addition to my goals list. This month I tried to be less nagging and more willing and kind. I tried to find little ways to serve him and not grumble about “the socks on the floor.” I wanted to be a better wife, FOR ME!
The list went on through the rest of the year. Some months included more time journaling and reflecting, some involved exercise, and others involved keeping a more organized home. I felt satisfied with my New Year’s resolutions after making the list and was able to fall asleep!
Something changed this year. Slowly I started focusing less on the friends I didn’t have and more on things that make me happy. I didn’t feel as lonely and I didn’t feel as badly about myself. Caring more for myself also increased my confidence and this was the year I gained two of my best friends. I don’t know if it was just coincidence that the year I decided to finally care about myself I found two of my best friends or if it was the confidence that I built through my goals, but all I know is that I have been blessed. It is so important to like who you are. When you’re all alone, looking in the mirror, do you like who you are?
Advice to Women:
“I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]”8 And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies.”9
He goes on to share this incredible insight…
“A woman not of our faith once wrote something to the effect that in her years of working with beautiful women she had seen several things they all had in common, and not one of them had anything to do with sizes and shapes. She said the loveliest women she had known had a glow of health, a warm personality, a love of learning, stability of character, and integrity. If we may add the sweet and gentle Spirit of the Lord carried by such a woman, then this describes the loveliness of women in any age or time.”
Here are ideas for every month of the year:
JANUARY: Relationship with God
FEBRUARY: Relationship with Spouse or Family Member
MARCH: Relationship with Body
APRIL: Relationship with Food
MAY: Relationship with Thoughts/Journaling
JUNE: Relationship with Joy
JULY: Relationship with Home or Personal Space
AUGUST: Relationship with Sleep
SEPTEMBER: Relationship with Nature
OCTOBER: Relationship with Social Media
NOVEMBER: Relationship with Exercise
DECEMBER: Your Choice
Here is a free template created by the author! Just click the title and you can download the PDF right to your computer!
Click on the words “Resolution template” below to download! Happy New Year!
And be sure to check out Kelsey’s amazing blog below!